When i was in college i worked at a bar. This bar required all staff members to get up on stage and do goofy dances every hour on the hour. The first hour i was there i assumed that surely since i was one hour in to employment with them this exempted me from dancing--i mean i didnt know any of the moves after all. This was not the case. I was dragged to stage, introduced, and forced to comically mimic the motions of the people next to me as they and the entire very packed crowd watched and laughed at me. Being laughed at like that is traumatizing. Let me tell you by the end of the night i knew ALL the dances.
Similarly, when i was 16 i took a lifeguarding class and subsequently became a life guard. I mark this as when i really became a woman because i went from a kid who didnt care about her appearance to a super exposed young woman who put myself out there for the world to see. It was the class that really that changed me.
Wearing a skimpy bathing suit in front of cute guys daily for weeks on end. I was a kid before that. Pudgy, not fat but not toned by any means. By the end of the six week class i was hot. I was lean, and toned and knew how to be comfortable parading around in a swimsuit despite who was watching.
Point being that i dont think if i'd just been told to learn those dances or to put on a swimsuit and be comfortable with my body i'd have been an iota as successful as i was because i'd been thrown into it and forced to adapt.
These victories have stuck with me my entire life.
I am craving a jump right now. I dont know what just yet. Im moving on the real estate, i have a listing and have had a few showings, an imminent offer. Im working out 5 days a week. I dont think its a new job nor exposing my body. Is it writing one of the books floating around in my brain that ive always been too scared to write? Is it finally for real leaving the security of my steady job? Is it traveling to italy to meet the decendant of a roman god and making him my sex slave???
I dont know what it is im wanting to do exactly but I wonder if this girl still has the ability to surprise herself.
I'm betting I do:)
I bet you do too!