The elusive demi dream and the Power of Seven experiment

 

So the dream that I'd most like to follow is a whopper.  It's going to take a few things I just don't have right now.  Money and time.  I'm going to need a demi dream to ride to that dream. 

The problem is that I'm blocked.  I could literally do anything and yet a single idea, which normally I'm full of is eluding me.  Ridiculous. 

I've googled my brains out looking for 'businesses to start in a small town', 'successful businesses for single moms' and either I'm spoiled or other people's ideas just aren't for me.  Why would they be?  How could an unknown person even begin to know what lights my fire.  All this to say, I think it's going to have to come from within.  Which is scary because right now 'within' is filled with crickets. 

I need to dislodge my normally overactive creativity. 

I found this exercise called the power of seven. 

Honestly it's probably more for say a college student just about to graduate than someone like me.  I've tried too many things, I have fear and doubt and past failures to hold me back.  I've experienced real fear and loss and so these things are hard to answer in a way that accomplished the intended goal without being true to the question for me.

The exercise is this: List Seven things you're passionate about, Seven problems you are currently having and Seven things you're afraid of.  At the end you're supposed to have 21 business ideas.  This exercise isn't necessarily a winner in my book but maybe it'll help you.  At any rate, my poor attempt at this exercise is below:

Seven things I'm passionate about:

1.  Sewing.  I really love sewing, I'd love to make and install drapery and maybe even learn to reupholster furniture.  I have sewn for a living before though.  I owned a little boutique with handmade children's clothes and let's just say that it's impossible to compete with China.  I didn't lose money, but I didn't really make much either especially when you factor in the number of hours I put into it.  I feel lucky that I got out with my love for sewing intact.  NOT THE ONE

2.  Party planning.   This is what my end goal dream is all about I know that I'll end up planning events at some point in my life.  I just need something in between me and this dream to get me there.  NOT THE ONE for right now. 

3.  Decorating.  As much as I love this, around here people just don't pay other people to do this.  Maybe in the city but not here and unfortunately the one thing I know is I can't leave until my kids are done with school so unfortunately, this is NOT THE ONE.

4.  Home remodeling/Designing.  Maybe it's just that I'm in a negative nelly sort of a mood, but it seems that with the DIY shows and the fact that this is just too close to real estate this may be something I enjoy doing for myself, I just don't see how I could make any money at it.  Starting to think this idea is lame.  NOT THE ONE. 

5.  Making Signs.  I really like this idea.  I don't know if I could make money at it.  It seems like you can walk into Hobby Lobby and buy any and every kind of sign under the Sun mass produced in China.  MAYBE

6.  Shopping.  Oh how I wish this was the one.  Yeah right.  I'm only flagging this as a maybe because I would so love to shop to stock a retail store.  I love retail.  MAYBE

7.  Refinishing furniture. I'm out of practice, I used to really like doing this though, it would totally depend on how much I could charge and if I could get work.  MAYBE

Seven problems:

1.  I live in an ancient farmhouse in constant need of work.  I need more money OR more time and a good contractor.  Not an option.  NOT THE ONE. 

2.  I could really use a counselor.  I'd need to go back to college to become a counselor, then dealing with other people's troubles all day every day--that's got to be just awful.  I would so much rather find a way to make people happy and see them that way.  NOT THE ONE

3.  I wish that I had someone to help me figure out what it is that I want and then push me in that direction. Life coaches exist...everywhere except here.  A good idea but just not one that I can turn into actual cash where I'm at with what I have.  NOT THE ONE.

4.  I miss my mom.   Nothing outside of becoming a better person so that I can see her in the afterlife will fix this one.  NOT THE ONE.

5.  I can't remember the last time I had any fun.  I think i've forgotten how.    I want to host the fun.  I always have.  I want to make the fun and see people having fun.  I love it.  No part of it is too trivial.  I have sat up for nights on end making paper flowers on stems to create flower crowns or corsages for parties, if for no other reason than that it makes me happy--I want to do this.  THE ONE, maybe just not the one that gets me to that point, this one is the end goal.

6.  My kids are growing up way too fast and I'm too poor to get to have any fun with them, well not any fun but Hawaii fun-vacation in general-that's something we'll just never get to have at this rate.  I guess I could become a travel agent but as a single parent with no mother, I just don't see how I could make this work.  NOT THE ONE. 

7.  I am unfulfilled and I don't want to live the rest of my life this way.   I love retail.   Love it.  I love home decor, I sew I make curtains and pillows and I am smart enough to be able to run a retail store.  Please Lord help me make this happen for myself.  THE ONE.

Seven things I'm afraid of:

1.  I'm afraid of dying alone and not having any friends.  I know there are lots of people like this but honestly this is something I should just be doing from the goodness of my heart, I can be brave when I want to be, I can be the life of the party.  I think this is why I want to host events.  I want to be the person that helps others have a rounded out and fulfilled life.  If only there was a way to make this happen for those truly hurting.  MAYBE

2.  I'm afraid of going underneath my house.  I'm never going to be able to make my peace with this.  Never. NOT THE ONE.  

3.  I'm afraid of replacing the plugs in my living room.  Electricians go to school forever and honestly I'd rather scoop poop than be in charge of routing electricity.  No thanks.  NOT THE ONE.

4.  I'm afraid of my drunk ex.  He truly scares me.  I wish there were something I could spray or use to just make him or other intruders stop.  NOT THE ONE.

5.  I'm afraid of losing my family.  Really dumb exercise.  NOT THE ONE.

6.  I'm afraid of settling.  Indecision because I don't want to settle for something not right for me, although I am starting to feel like the grasshopper who played all summer.  I know I need to learn to make decisions and stick with them but there's not a business in this.  NOT THE ONE.

7.  I'm afraid of cutting down trees after the one in the backyard broke and I almost killed myself trying to get it cut down.  I will not become a tree trimmer.  This is crazy. NOT THE ONE.

Well I guess I defined my dreams a bit better.  I didn't come up with the demi dream I'd hoped for.  Yes, I love retail but there's so much overhead.  Retail is a part of my end goal I may just have to bide my time with that too.  I picture hand made soaps and lotions and candles being for sale at the farmhouse as well as decor, dishes, flatware, even clothing and wonderful locally crafted items.  

The successful businesses I've had in the past have all had one thing in common:  a gun to my head.

When I started them I had no choice but to put the rubber to the road.  This business of being all over the map it's ridiculous.  I am putting too much pressure on myself which has me blocked.  

I'm going to do my own power of seven, this time it's for people like me and not recent graduates.   

I am going to list 7 things that I need from this new venture:

1.  At least 5K a month. 

2.  The ability to make my income slide based on effort put forth.

3.  More time at home with my kids.

4.  More time at home without my kids to work on it.

5.  Pride.  I miss that.

6.  Respect.  I know that these mules in this town will talk out of the side of their mouth no matter what I do but I want to be an upstanding citizen that helps others broadly.  I need to do this so that I can respect myself.  I'd like this organic idea to come from me, come up from my own self and bloom like crazy. 

7.  I like repetitive things, creating, and deadlines...all these things would be fantastic.  Something I can create or assemble and sell would be so very cool.

 

List seven businesses that you're jealous of.

1.  The little boutique in San Marcos with all the jeans and shoes right across from the campus.  Love this. 

2.  Bath and Body works back in the day.  The wholesome checkered aprons and barrels chocked full of lotions and soaps.

3.  My ex sister in law's bakery.  I know it's a lot of hard work but I would give anything to have a base like that to throw parties. 

4.  The little boutique in this town.  The girl has a rich oil husband and he totally set her up.  She rents chairs to stylists and has some retail.  So jealous.

5.  Magnolia Shop.  Seriously this would be exactly what I would want for myself.  Yum.

6.  The Guenther house.  Prix fixe menu, super charming property, lots of character and retail.  Dreamy. 

7.  Any antique shop ever.  Seriously.  How can people part with those things though.  I think my inner hoarder would cry a little every time something went out the door. 

If you had to do something right now to make money what would you do:

1.  Resale my clothing, furniture, barn items.

2.  Detail cars

3.  Learn how to groom dogs and get that going.

4.  Make cute signs and deliver them like flowers

5.  Look for a cool property that might let me rent it out for events.

6.  Plan a group activity and start marketing it and sell tickets.

7.  Rent one of the downtown cutesy store fronts and decorate it and rent it out for kid's parties.

 

Lots to think about. Sorry for the long post.  I hope this one helps you figure your dream out. 

xoxo,

juls

 

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Comments (11)

  1. dreamshadow59

    Juls: I absolutely LOVED your post!!!

    December 01, 2015
    1. juls

      Thank you Sooz, you’re just the best!!!

      December 02, 2015
      1. dreamshadow59

        Muah!!!

        December 02, 2015
  2. wirelessguru1

    I like making fucking plans…

    December 02, 2015
    1. juls

      LMAO…such a man way to read that. Hilarious.

      December 02, 2015
  3. sunshineandraindrops

    can I do this? Brilliant idea (and though I’m still a student, it’s always good to think about the future!)

    December 10, 2015
  4. RRoe

    You are more creative in life when you’re having fun. Before fear found you, how did you have fun? There has got to be a smiling, laughing girl somewhere down inside of you.

    December 17, 2015
    1. juls

      You know that’s a good question. I can’t remember. I tried. Nothing makes a bit of difference to me. Nothing. There’s nothing I really want, there’s nothing I feel strongly about. I’ve been in a closed loop for the last few years. Replaying and replaying events that occurred in the matter of a few days. It’s been so long since that traumatic weekend when my husband of 17 years brutally beat my kids and I and was carted off to jail then two days later I found out that my mom had stage 4 cancer-the worst the ob-gyn we visited had ever seen. I could tell you things that would haunt you. That few days has literally taken everything away from me. I just realized why. Why this realization came from an innocent question you asked a week ago is beyond me but I think it’s broken me so badly because he was the person I would’ve fallen apart to and sought comfort in after finding out my mom had cancer and she was the one I would have fallen apart to and sought comfort in after my husband beat my children and I…and instead I could do neither. Three days out of the roughly 14,000 I’ve been on this planet and the two people I loved most in the whole world outside of my own children were just suddenly and forever erased from my life. Since then nothing holds any real joy. I mean I love my kids but I am a shadow of the person I used to be. It’s like I died that weekend and this ghost with a tenth the energy and no joy or emotion took my place. Healing is why I originally came here, and while I stay positive as much as I can…it’s a process I guess. I intend on really focusing on finding something I enjoy asap.

      December 22, 2015
      1. This comment has been deleted
      2. RRoe

        Wow, is that painful to read. Let me gather myself before i babble on.

        December 22, 2015
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